You are currently browsing the category archive for the 'Funny' category.
Paul and Storm like movies. Paul and Storm like Randy Newman. Paul and Storm agree that ANY movie can be made better with a catchy Randy Newman Theme song.
Survey the damage here:

Jonathan Coulton’s career took off when he wrote a little ditty called “Code Monkey”; a witty love song from the point of view of a repressed software code writer. All the resulting press, including Jonathan’s own BIO, now labels him as a leader of the “geek rock” movement in popular music. This is a sad illustration of what happens when your own songs turn on you:
(video courtesy of Paul and Storm)
Rapper B.o.B. succinctly sums up the virtues of AutoTune in this short original song. Many Thanks to Chris who sent me this link!
I had a numbing Thanksgiving holiday. Don’t get me wrong, I had a great time. It’s just good to have things settled down again. Tonight I disposed of the leftover turkey (via tetrazini casseroles) and packed some leftovers into the freezer.
This video sums up my current state of mind. Notice the Casio VL-tone’s rhythm track as the basis of this song. Kinda makes your head want to explode, doesn’t it. And does anyone else think the singer looks like our president-elect?
A faculty meeting can make anyone loopy. This is a result of decaffination, lack of food, a faculty meeting, deadlines, and stopping by Pribek’s blog during my lunch break. No nuns or kittens were actually harmed in the making of this hymn.
| Make your own at MoreCowbell.dj | ||
Visit http://www.morecowbell.dj/ and upload any song.
Then add more cowbell. And Christopher Walken.
Amazing!
(thanks to listenerd)
| Make your own at MoreCowbell.dj | ||
This is funny, even out of context:
http://pribek.net/2008/09/07/god-is-a-song-plugger/#comment-6974
Jack-”I appreciate you taking time to see me God”.
God-”I see all”.
Jack-”Uhmmm…well…as you know, I have this great new ballad. It would be perfect for Jessica Simpson”.
God places the hand lettered, mastered demo in to the portable CD player sitting amidst the stacks of hand lettered, mastered demo CDs, on top of his His mahogany desk, presses play and closes his eyes. After fifteen seconds, barely making it through the intro and well before the first hook, God abruptly presses stop and says in a tone that is serious yet somehow conveys empathy in the face of failure and says; “I’m not feeling it”.
In other news, I found this crazy band:
Does it remind anyone of the ”Dani California” video from the RHCP?
I need to gripe a bit about things beyond my control. Hurricanes and Weddings don’t mix very well and I’m thinking about adding a severe weather clause in my next wedding contract. But 8 weeks ago when I took the gig, who knew?
Yesterday I played a wedding and reception at Pavilion of the Oaks just south of Montgomery. There’s no piano or organ at the hall, but that would have done us little good, since the couple wanted their wedding to be outside. Unfortunately, Hurricane Fay had other ideas for the poor couple. About 24 hours prior to the wedding the rain started and never let up until midnight on Saturday. Needless to say, the families and the wedding planner hastily made room for the wedding to take place indoors. As I unloaded my keyboard rig and amp, I was soaked within 30 seconds of exiting my car. I found the corner where the musicians were set up and someone was nice enough to find some paper towels to dry things off before I plugged into the electrical outlets. I took 15 years of applied music lessons for this?
There were probably 100 people present, despite the downpour and high winds. The hall where the couple wedded had one wall which was filled with big windows and french doors. As we played the wedding inside, the wind whistled and shook the doors so violently, that no one could really hear what was going on.
I often remember my own wedding while I watch and listen to these ceremonies. Liturgical churches have the best weddings ’cause the ceremony is stuffed right in there with a regular communion service. I was thinking that it’s a good thing that this one was more of a civil-style, meaning that was gonna be short and sweet (15 minutes). Then the unity candle moment arrived and the flute player stood and nodded for me. What?! There’s nothing in the program about music here… Well, it seems that someone’s mother decided that Panis Angelicus was needed here, but neglected to tell the piano player. Crap! About the time I dug through my book and found the page, it was too late and the couple was already getting blessed. When the last strains of the Purcell recessional faded, the other musicians (trumpet, flute, and violin) bundled up their gear and got the heck out of there. I had another 2 hours to play.
For the reception, they wanted me set up in another room (near the groom’s cake, which looked tasty, but I’ll never know for sure). The challenge of lugging the stage piano and amp while dodging the crowd managed to throw my back out; –OUCH!! Grimacing through the pain, I played Chopin, Strauss, Beethoven, Liszt, and Brahms for about 45 minutes and 2 people came over to make nice comments. Sensing that perhaps they were tired of classics, I played a little “West Side Story”, then reached for the Scott Joplin book. Ragtime is a magnet for small children and soon I had a half dozen dancing audience members. I was feeling pretty good (except for that lower back pain) and had almost dried out.
Finally, my 2 hour reception gig was over and I packed it up and loaded it into the car. I was sure hoping that Ampeg speakers are water-resistant because I was soaking wet again and the winds and rain were as savage as ever. Did I mention that I had to drive another hour to get home? Poor visibility and tumbling tree parts meant that I couldn’t “put the pedal to the metal”, so I soggily limped home behind some trucker whose rig parted the water in the road like Moses at the Red Sea.
Somewhere, I hope there’s a happy pair of newlyweds laughing about a love that endures hurricane-force trama. For a certain waterlogged musician, it’s a bit harder to laugh sometimes, but I do wish them well. The things we do for love….
So….does anyone have any similar gig stories to share?
Noted anti-composer John Cage would be proud: Twelve circuit-bent, MIDI-actuated Pikachu toys scream together to form the “Y.M.O” — the Yellow Mouse Orchestra.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MT-CgYPE2y0
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mDKsmGw-7Rc

Music has always been an inspiration to many, so it’s no surprise when a restaurant named Kumas (in Chicago) decided to create their headbanging line of hamburgers based on famous metal bands. (Metalsucks via Listenerd)
Here’s a sampling:
BLACK SABBATH –Blackening Spice, Chili, Pepper Jack, Red Onion
IRON MAIDEN –Avocado, Cherry Peppers, Pepper Jack, Chipotle Mayo
SLAYER –Pile of fries topped with a ½ lb. Burger, Chili, Cherry Peppers, Andouille, Onions, Jack Cheese, and Anger
LED ZEPPELIN –Pulled Pork, Bacon, Cheddar, Pickles
METALLICA –Buffalo Sauce, Bacon, Bleu Cheese Dressing
JUDAS PRIEST –Bacon, Bleu Cheese Dressing with Apples, Walnuts, and dried cranberries
MOTORHEAD –Goat Cheese, Kalamata Olives, Oregano, Tzatziki, Onion, Tomato
MASTODON –BBQ Sauce, Cheddar, Bacon, Frizzled Onions
MAYHEM –Sliced Jalapenos, Pancetta, Pepper Jack, Gardinera Mayo
PLAGUE BRINGER –Roasted Garlic Mayo, Tortilla Strips, Chicago CO-OP hot sauce, Fresh Garlic, Pepper Jack, Sliced Jalapenos
LAIR OF THE MINOTAUR –Caramelized Onions, Pancetta, Brie, Bourbon Soaked Pears
Mmmmmm….can I get fries with that?
I don’t Twitter, but this is still cool. I think I posted a link to it many weeks ago. Unfortunately, edublogs is still keeping me from embedding this widget, so you’ll have to visit the page:
http://www.snoopdogg.com/extras/default.aspx/mid/3872
To try it out, you have to know someone’s twitter name; then click on “shizzle your friends’ tweets”.
For example, – Paul and Storm’s twittername = paulandstorm
Jonathan Coulton’s = jonathancoulton
If you’re a rising star, you should think about Twitter because it’s another “buzzing” line of communication between you and your fans. Widgets posted to your webpage can display “Tweets” and you can keep your fans entertained 24/7. Is it a fad? Probably, but like my old boss used to say: “never be the first to discard the old or the last to pick up the new.”
When you’re building bridges, tools can come in quite handy. And any artist that can sell product AND create the “culture/community” among fans that Snoop (and NIN and Radiohead, etc, etc…) should have an honorary MBA on their wall.
Where do you want to be in 5 years? 10 years? Will you be a one-hit-wonder or a cultural icon?
“–Ay, there’s the rub!
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come,
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
Must give us pause.”
Look, Dear… I linked my blog to yours! Isn’t that a nice present?
Tonight I took my wife to dinner in a loving pre-birthday celebratory fashion. Supposedly, there was a new Italian restaurant in town, located in the venerable Holiday Inn. Things didn’t go as planned. I should have known something was up when we saw the chef come out of the kitchen, tear off his apron and walk briskly out the door. It reminded me of that slow motion feeling I had when I hydroplaned into oncoming traffic during a rainstorm years ago. You can read the gory details here:
Take this quiz. Amazing!
I got five before I started cheating…
Update; the wife successfully shamed me by getting 7 (she was at about 50% accuracy before she got tired of it at around Number 15). So what else is new?

If you live in the U.S., statistics show that you like the above picture.
I had way too many statistics classes in graduate school; 24 semester hours! Along the way I learned something about the destructive force quantitative statistical methods could wield if they fell into the wrong hands.
Some musical “artists” actually sought to materialize the best and worst of our musical tastes.
The most unwanted music?, –if you dare!!
Download The most unwanted music?
The most wanted music?
Download Most wanted music?
This is a visual example of the damage statisticians can do when they survey the general public to determine what people like.
My college students dared me to post this video to share our pain with the world. I hope you won’t watch it because it will eat 24 precious seconds of your life and you will have seen nothing. The video details what it’s like to sit in a theater for 3 1/2 hours waiting on the technical requirements (lighting, sound, etc…) to get ironed out. It’s absolutely mind-numbing. Last night we managed to stumble through 2 scenes w/ music and lights. And I get to do it again tonight.
My youngest daughter is currently in the throes of a “Dog Whisperer” worship phase. Not only do we endure regular readings from the “Gospel of Millan”, but our 3 dogs have had more exercise in the past week than probably all year. Having said this, I’d have to give an approving nod to ol’ Cesar; what you’re preaching seems to work! Now given my penchant for divergent thinking, I’m wondering what applications of his techniques would be possible outside of the dog world.
Ladies and Gentlemen; –imagine the Dog Whisperer’s Guide to the Music Business! This exciting new concept in video format would feature episodes on:
1. The basics of Band Behavior.
2. How to become the Band Leader.
3. How to use Energy and Body Language to influence your Band.
4. How to create Rules, Boundaries and Limitations.
5. Getting control during Tours.
6. Indispensable advice on adopting Drummers from shelters and rehab/rescue groups.
7. Correct Bad Behavior.
8. Exercising your Band.
9. Achieving your Calm-Assertive State-of-Mind.
10. ”Never work against Mother Nature”
Hey, I think this concept could work; –don’t you?
“The Band Whisperer”….
(followed soon by “The Producer Whisperer”….)
-j

My apologies for lack of posting; my time is being monopolized by a certain musical about bodily functions. Some gigs I regret taking, but as I mentioned before; –once I’m booked, I’m booked. Like the old saying goes; “when ya’ gotta go, ya’ gotta go…”

How many record executives does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Why not get the answer from the horse’s mouth?
You can read this funny tidbit via Seth’s Blog.
It’s actually an excerpt from what appears to be a very humorous book by a Mr. Dan Kennedy on Permission Marketing.
I don’t want to mess it up by condensing/paraphrasing it.
Honk if you love Barry Manilow? No, just “honk” the real thing; -hit the horn and hear Barry crooning “I Write The Songs”.
Just imagine hearing the sweet strains of Snoop Dog’s latest album (Ego Trippin’) the next time your sluggish acceleration irritates the guy driving behind you… Or maybe you’ll hear some “Seek and Destroy” (Metallica) as the blue-haired little old lady passes your worn-out jalopy, leaving you behind in a cloud of dust.
Car horns that play music? Yes, any MP3 is game if you purchase one of these $300 units from Horntones. I can just imagine the RIAA suing drivers to collect royalties every time someone honks with their Amy Winehouse “Rehab” honker… OR load in your favorite movie lines; -the possibilities are endless!
(Thanks Earfarm)
WiretotheEar shared this yesterday and I’ve had more fun with it than is sanely possible.
Congress passes a higher ed funding bill that requires colleges & universities to deal with the illegal downloading on campuses. (webware via future of music blog).
John Mellencamp demands John McCain stop using his songs for campaign events. (WTOP via future of music blog).
Gerd Leonhard (MediaFuturist Blog) recommends a book predicting what the future holds for the music industry.
Hometracked shares some Vocal EQ Tips.
Protooler shares a link where you can get PDF files to make your own ProTools shortcut stickers.
Guitarflame asks “where do you find your music?”.
Listenerd shares a link to a company that has used pitch to MIDI conversion to create a version of Guitar Hero that is usable with real guitars Plus, it also offers a teaching mode to help you learn new songs. Cool!
Music Row reports that Warner Music Group’s head is under investigation by French authorities for insider trading. Bad, Edgar, Bad!
Musicthing has posted the strangest accordian equipment review ever. (I’ve never seen an accordian do anything like that!).
Seth Godin’s post on deciding what to make could speak to musicians. Rewrite it yourself only with a focus on making music.
Good Musician shares tips on how to get young children interested in playing an instrument.
I’m not originally an Erykah Badu fan, but after seeing her on Before the Music Dies (a great video!!), I had to catch this review of her new music video on Killed by the Video Star’s site. As I watched it, my grins turned to guffaws…she’s probably one of the most intelligent artists out there today! I won’t give away the cool stuff, but it’s a real trip down memory lane in the spirit of RHCP’s Dani California vid.
Pic by Zikinf
Studio trickery uncovered; –film at 11.
After a 24-hr lag in finding or thinking of anything to post, I stumbled upon this goodie:
Hometrack’s Top 10 worst Auto-tune abuses. (see original post for offender list).
http://www.hometracked.com/mp3/hometracked-autotune-abuse.mp3
It’s amazing the number of folks who can’t sing on pitch that go on to become entertainers. Auto-tune keeps ‘em in business. Too bad they sound like mutant replicants from the planet Zeno.
Auto-tune is the Antares plug-in that allows engineers to correct bad singing. In the hands of an amateur, the results can be bad. My old protools trainer, Shawn Simpson was a great vocal tuner and I believe he insisted on editing every syllable manually, even though Auto-Tune was available. I’m still groovin’ on Melodyne (recommended by Shawn) and I try to do things just like my teacher. Imagine that!
10 Bloopers that made it on the final album. Priceless.
Check it out here:
See, guys; –the good of the whole outweighs the problems. We don’t have to be perfect (but it helps).
If you thought this was entertaining, then try:
All Linkin Park songs look alike. Classic!
Thanks and credits to www.hometracked.com for assembling these!
No, they’re not going to play @$%&ing “Stonehenge”….
The Sundance Film Festival had a rock-umentary this year titled
It’s a story of the amazing persistence of a Canadian metal band that never broke through to stardom. In some of the interview clips, I get this Spinal Tap deja-vu feeling. You can decide for yourself, though if this is a case of the music industry ignoring great talent or just another semi-pro band that didn’t have the material. Read the rest of this entry »
It’s been a crazy week; can anyone tell? But I found some great things to share!
Indy Mogul – the perfect site for anyone interested in starting out in filmmaking or animation using no-nonsense (and low budget) tricks and tips. These guys are serious; they just got back from Sundance Film Festival and video blogged a bunch of it! They also have video tips for how to do special effects(like ripping the beating heart out of a victim “a la Indiana Jones & Temple of Doom”). I’m sure you can use that soon… (Thanks Audiogeek Zine)
Your Internet Service Provider (ISP) may soon have to police your downloading habits. This is due to increased pressure from content owners to control illegal downloading. If only the RIAA had thought of this sooner… (Thanks, Future of Music Blog). In the meantime, the European Courts say that ISPs don’t have to disclose file sharers (via Hypebot); so if you can’t catch the birds, chop down the tree?
Marc Cohen’s Ad-supported Music Central reacts to the Qtrax fiasco. Good one, Marc!
Andrew Dubber discusses the boundaries of the new music industry (or lack thereof). (New Music Strategies).
Guitar Flame shares a video from what has to be the world’s youngest fingerstyle guitar player. Nice one.
ProMedia reminds us how to use the Xpand! plug-in as a metronome in Pro Tools.
Protooler reviews a free online sound source (did someone say “Free?”) for film, radio and tv sfx.
Wire-to-the-Ear makes me feel 100 years old as he shows y’all how we used to do things.
Didn’t find anything interesting, yet? Then check out my wife’s latest zombie video review…
Van Canto = Hero-metal a cappella (not counting the drummer)!
Power chords are interval distances taken from a triad (the backbone of tonal music); –i.e. the root and the fifth. I always think of bagpipes when I think of power chords, although the highland bagpipe’s drones are tuned to octave A’s, not a perfect fifth (octaves and perfect fifths are a specific musical distance apart).
There’s true energy in the interval; energy enough to hear and judge the temper of the intervals (temper = how equal the step sizes are). The piano tuner I apprenticed with during my college years taught me to tune a tempered octave by equalizing the beating you can hear between a P4 and P5(perfect 4th and perfect 5th). It’s quite easy to hear if the P4 beats are much slower or faster than the p5 (but you should mute 2 of the 3 string of a piano’s notes before trying this, else you could get too much interference to tell if motion is present).
So what’s this got to do with choirs? Hang on–…I’m getting to that.
Plainsong was originally sung in unison, but by the middle of the 9th century, music historians tell us that it was common for people to sing songs in parallel P4ths, P5ths, and P8ths. Power Chord harmony!
It wasn’t until the 1300s that folks got tired of power chords and started to phase it out.
Imagine that! Folks in the Dark Ages got tired of power chords…funny stuff!
Actually, power chords in vocal music never really died. And this style of voicing is re-emerging and becoming fashionable.
http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1704683,00.html
(thanks ypulse via Listenerd)
And there’s a new movie,too (which I just ordered for my classes.).
You can check it out here:
Power chords for choirs.
Rock on!
Listenerd turned me on to Mental Floss’s top 5 Rap/Hiphop covers(in a folk style).
Here are 4 more funny favorites not necessarily in a folk style:
The Dan Band’s rap medley. Fast girl rap covered by your local neighborhood mechanic.
Richard Cheese's swing Gin and Juice.
Aaron Durr's Ludacris cover.
Hayseed Dixie's Snoop Dogg cover.
Garritan is offering a free online Jazz Arranging Course by Chuck Israels! (thanks HarmonyCentral). It looks cool, if you’ve had at least 1 year of music theory.

Enjoy the best Mashups of 2007 (free download) [thanks to Gerd Leonhard & MediaFuturist.]
Sample tracks include:
07 Lobsterdust // Marley Maiden
Bob Marley VS Iron Maiden
[from the Number of da Boots album, MOTW #27]
08 DJ Zebra // Break Through Love
Doors VS Led Zeppelin
[MOTW #44]
09 El Barto & Liam B // Don’t Dance
Genesis VS David Bowie
[MOTW #40]
Mark Hornsby is starting a new year-long series about recording a song entirely in the box using Pro Tools. Every month the tracks will be available as a free download at http://recordingmag.com/index.html (Thanks, Promedia Blog).
Good Musician has started his series of Basic Repertoire posts with the Queen of the Night’s flashy Aria from the Magic Flute. I didn’t realize there was a “whistle” register in the human voice…I’d always assumed these sopranos were a result of cold war genetic engineering experiments…
Marty Atkins has begun Tour Smart: The Tour. Watch for it in a city near you. (Feb. 8th in Bham, AL).
KilledbytheVideoStar has killer reviews of the latest (and not so latest) in music videos. Good stuff!
My buddy Stan and Rollin’ in the Hay will be in town at the Double Branch Saloon on Friday Jan. 11. at 10 pm.
I’m a Zune fan. I like PCs. “I know PC’s are pretty lame, but at least they’ll always stay the same.” (Thanks to Listenerd for the first video.)
Even though things get a little rushed this time of year, I hope you take a moment to count your blessings and be thankful that you’re not stuck on an asteroid somewhere out in the far reaches of the universe.
*Quickstop Entertaiment is giving away a free download of this Jonathan Coulton hit tune, if you’re interested. It’s been given the stamp of approval *(i.e. LEGAL) from JoCo himself.

Now I’ve seen everything. A nifty microphone disguised as a ring.
More phantom-power, Honey?
Promedia blog teaches Toggling to Pro Tools Toddlers.
Max’s studio is looking good from Ground Zero. (dmstudio)
Ad-supported music says Limewire is on 36% of computers.
Gibson has a reverse flying V guitar on the line. (MusicGadgets).
New Music Strategies looks (or promises to look) at promising new tools.
Good Musician pics 10 Musicians to invite to your College Party.
My wife reviews “I Am Legend” even though Listenerd has already proven that Will Smith doesn’t use toilet paper…
Our Digital Music names 10 musicians To Invite to your Office Christmas Party.
If you have spare time, of course….
Dr. J & 2 of 3 of his mad elves…
Give yourself some SAX this weekend!
The Grammy Nominations are announced… and my nominee didn’t make it!
Dear Illegal Downloaders,
I found a link to this on Listenerd’s site and it struck a familiar chord with me. I thought I’d write and encourage you to repent of your illegal downloading activity and attempt to make amends by following the advice found here:
P.S. Te absolvo.
(actual photo) (on the right)
On Friday, I’m taking the afternoon off and driving over to Atlanta with my wife to hear three very special and talented performers; Paul and Storm and Jonathan Coulton. It’s hard to describe them; sort of a “Kirk/Spock meets Arlo Guthrie” hybrid.
Sit back and wonder what it’s like to make a living as a singer/songwriter. I suppose your average workday might start out a little like this: or this.
Ordinarily, I’d promise you pics, but the Sanyo HD camcorder is in the shop and they called today to tell me I’d purchased a greymarket unit that won’t be covered under warranty. Oh well. I guess I’ll pay the difference in repair costs that I saved between Broadway Camera’s price and Amazon’s. No biggie!
In other news, Seth Godin has 2 small but very intelligent posts on his blog today:
Small Business and Put it in your… –worthy reads!
Make it a good day!
-J
My scary contribution= French Organ Music! (French music = downfall of Western Music) **For some reason, these videos keep becoming unavailable…I’ll keep updating!
Hypebot serves up some Halloween Fun, complete with the famous Ozzy and Bat video…
Our Digital Music has their own Halloween on the Net list…
Boo!, Ya’ll….
-J
All the hype about Radiohead's non-traditional release is exactly that. I don't believe it marks the end of music distribution as we know it. If this were the case, then my Indie hero Jonathan Coulton would already be a millionaire; --because his promotional schemes are brilliant! If you don't believe me, check out this soft rocking advert...
Video remixing intrigues me, but I don’t think I’ll be able to buy any equipment anytime soon…the startup cost is just too high! Luckily, we can all use simple video editing programs like Windows Movie Maker or I-Movie to mix and mash bits of a/v.
It was funny, ’cause he didn’t inhale anything…he was sort of a human smoke machine. I thought the Amish were against this sort of thing… What some people do for art’s sake!
Download Kids; –don’t try this at home!
Today we did Ex. 1P from the old Pro Tools curriculum. I’ve included a sample, in case anyone wants a chuckle or two.
Download New dialog by AB
Regardless of your gender, I think you’ll appreciate this…









Recent Comments