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Via listenerd, a blog called Holytaco (??) posted a list of 14 songs that should never be played in a bar. Their list:
14. ALL I WANNA DO – SHERYL CROW
13. MR. BRIGHTSIDE – THE KILLERS
12. R.E.M. – IT’S THE END OF THE WORLD AS WE KNOW IT (AND I FEEL FINE)
11. DANCING QUEEN – ABBA
10. SWEET HOME ALABAMA – LYNYRD SKYNYRD
9. DON’T STOP BELIEVING – JOURNEY
8. SMOOTH – CARLOS SANTANA AND ROB THOMAS
7. HOTEL CALIFORNIA - THE EAGLES
6. I WILL SURVIVE – GLORIA GAYNOR
5. MEATLOAF – PARADISE BY THE DASHBOARD LIGHT
4. KID ROCK – BAWIDABA
3. ANYTHING BY THE BEATLES - THE BEATLES
2. PIANO MAN – BILLY JOEL
1. AMERICAN PIE – DON MCLEAN
While I don’t agree with choices/reasons that HolyTaco blog states, I do think some basic guidelines are in order. Here are my suggestions:
5. Don’t play massive medleys in the style of “Hooked-on” (classics, disco, hair metal, etc..).
4. Make the covers suit the environment. Playing any song by the Kinsey Sicks in a biker bar is probably not a good idea.
3. Don’t preach. You’re hired to entertain, not to change behavior or beliefs. Songs about quitting smoking or drinking should probably be avoided.
2. Avoid assymetrical meters, excessive polyrhythms and anything that sounds like this: Varese may have inspired Frank Zappa to write music, but as far as I can tell, he’s never been a favorite of bar patrons.
1. Never try any song you aren’t capable of singing on-key.
Bonus advice: Knowing when to tell a bad joke is an art; if you don’t have the talent, don’t try it onstage.
Last night we drove a bit to find Crockmeir’s Pub to hear my old buddy Stan Foster and his friend Mark Custer play a few sets. They played together in a very successful duo (Custer’s Last Stand) in the mid-1980s but due to careers, family responsibilities, etc… they each followed different paths. This is the first time in 10 years that they’ve done a gig together and they’re doing it out of their home territory, so none of their regular (old) fans are there (except for me and my wife). Stan’s wife, Donna Hall, joins them for several numbers; she’s got a good voice with lots of range and control.
In the opening of the video, you hear Stan say “I’m not sure about this one…” but they were fine. They had a few fakebooks lying around and didn’t hesitate to take requests. It’s good to see them back together!
Think just a moment about how much economic sense a duo makes; –plus no lugging a drum set back to the van! They used hand-held percussion or a rhythm machine to good effect (–just dialed up a beat and faded it in and out). Mark had a pedal rig for his acoustic that gave him a nice variety of tone. Stan used the extended range of his 5 string bass to its fullest advantage. Good sound, happy customers, and at the end of the night, you divide the pay in half and head to the house.
I believe that duos deserve special respect; –it requires a special amount of musical give and take to pull off everyone’s favorite cover tune. I rarely see solo acts that can (or will) do covers any more. But in terms of profitability, it seems a bit strange. Venues that handle large bands often pay more than smaller venues, so unless you’re a solo act playing a large venue, the money is not much different.
What is your experience?
Yesterday she arrived 10 minutes before time to start playing. Her name was Joyce and she was a “hotshot” soprano from a cathedral in Virginia. Usually she sent music well in advance, but today she just showed up and wanted to sing. I bumped the communion hymn off the hymnboard to make room for her solo and she handed me the copied pages of music; –music I had not seen before. I had only 5 minutes to prepare to sightread this piece. What did I do?
1. With pen in hand, I examined the page to make sure the notes were there. Soloists are infamous for only paying attention to their part and trimming the lower clef off the other parts.
2. I made sure everything was legible and dark. I will write letter names for notes more than 3 ledger lines above or below the staff. Copies made too dark or light can spell trouble when sightreading.
3. I examined the solo for 1st & 2nd endings, Da Capo al Fine, and Coda marks and highlighted these with attention-getting symbols of my own design (I favor frowny faces).
4. I looked for courtesy accidentals. Upon finding none, I inserted my own. Many publishers use courtesy accidentals to help you realize that the preceding accidental has been cancelled. The more accidentals a piece has, the more brainpower it requires. Once there was an old TV game show called “Concentration” where contestants had to keep remembering where the pieces were. If you don’t appreciate key signatures, go pick up a copy of some Paul Creston. I’m sure Creston was smart enough to use key signatures; –the problem was that he modulated so much he figured he didn’t need them. Most of the time he probably didn’t know what key he was in!
OK, enough of the accidentals rant. It’s important to know when accidentals are there and when they are cancelled. Do what you have to do.
5. I decide tempo and sing (”audiate” i.e. hear in my head) through the most complicated part of the soprano line. She may be the soloist today, but I’m driving the parade; –I’ll set the tempo and we can argue about it later.
6. Finally, I study the most important notes in the bass (i.e. reduction or Schenkerian analysis, for you music theory buffs out there). If the right hand should get lost in a sea of accidentals, I’ll jettison its part and will momentarily become a one-handed bass player.
The important things I keep in mind are: keep the steady beat (unless it’s colla voce), drive the music defensively (i.e., –act like the soprano drops a beat out of every 3rd or 4th measure and you’ll win a million dollars if you jump in the music with her) and don’t lose your cool.
Salvation is only a half-step away.
There you have it: my 5 minutes of prep. The performance was fine, btw, and Joyce said ”it’s so nice to work with a real accompanist that’s always ready to go” as she ambled off in search of food. Thanks, Joyce.
Whether you’re preparing for a studio session or live show, there are some interesting rituals that take place.
If possible, I also remove my wallet, checkbook, keys and spare change (when I have any) and hide them away in a safe spot. Sometimes there are no safe spots. Oh well.
If you have a moment, why not share one?
Thanks,
J
I’m still having embed problems with the site.
http://www.redlasso.com/ClipPlayer.aspx?id=842a1833-05ff-470b-a0c4-10ec60987926
The above clip is of a performing artist on a syndicated TV show (thanks Listenerd!)
Watch his backup singers. Do you see the fan? Look at the candles on the keyboardist’s rig. What do the costume colors suggest?
What messages do these stage “props” send? Famous “props” (and costumes, decor, etc..) that I can think of:
“Eddie” the Iron Maiden mascot.
That scarf that Steven Tyler ties on his mic stand.
Johnny Cash dressed in black.
Liberace’s candles & outrageous costumes.
Elton John’s glasses.
Zappa’s moustache and goatee.
Michael Jackson’s glove.
Add more if you can think of any!
(And tell me if you use a prop onstage!)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f9a4ThBNacY
(my edublogs site is currently messing around with embed codes so you have to click the link above).
Bass guitar is an instrument ideally suited for playing chord roots and helping the drummer keep time. But it’s nice to see someone think outside the box and take the instrument to new levels. I’ve seen Victor Wooten live and he strikes me as a very warm, genuine person who never met a stranger. No wonder he’s among the top dogs, not only in Nashville, but around the world.
Well, it’s almost time to pack; –Monday a few dozen of my students and I will embark on a 2 day trip to Nashville to tour some studios and the Hall of Fame, attend a music showcase, and visit with the BMI and NARAS people. And stare at the statue of naked people on Music Row.
When Nashville went looking for a statue that symbolized their rich musical heritage, apparently the majority agreed that a bunch of naked dancing people summed it all up. Am I the only one scratching my head about this choice? And to think that they placed it in the center of a traffic roundabout (whose bright idea was this?)…I guess it’s there to slow down the traffic.
Here’s a few more places on the itinerary:
RCA Studio B - “Home of a Thousand Hits”
Oceanway Studio, another famous space created from an old church:
and Kristen Cothron’s industry showcase concert at the Rutledge.

She’s hoping the right people come and hear her show and “make her a big star.” Of course, not all musicians think that Nashville is on their side. In 1998, a very angry singer placed this ad in Billboard magazine to let the Nashville industry people know just how much he appreciated their support. Geez, Johnny, I didn’t know ya had it in ya!
So that’s the week to come; hope I can squeeze in a post or two before the bus leaves.
Peace, Ya’ll…
J

(Reliable Drum Cat photo borrowed from www.conservativecat.com)
I’m looking for a word to describe those musicians who will show up and do their best even when they’re deathly ill, tired, or troubled in other ways. Over at GuitarFlame, they’re talking about performers who don’t show up at gigs, rehearsals, etc… and it made me think that I’ve been lucky to have dealt with very few of these types over my years of playing. I’m seriously trying to remember if I EVER missed a gig. Seriously.
Don’t think I’m some kind of superman, but I posted recently about my struggle with the flu. Last night I played a 3 hour rehearsal (from Hell) after working a particularly exhausting 10 hour day(but that’s normal ). I’ve traveled many, many miles and endured incredibly bad venues (including many churches!) and low (or no) pay but if I told someone I would play, then that’s it; –I’m going to play.
OK –mea culpa; a confession. Over my years of accompanying (15+ years at TROY), I now recall that there was one senior recital that I missed because my sister-in-law passed away and we had to go back to Indiana. The player kept the piece on the program and one of my piano-playing students tried to cover for me, but I missed it; I couldn’t make it. I still feel guilty about it because that recitalist was depending on me.
So far this post has only been about ME. I still need to find a word to describe that overwhelming sense of responsibility to the task that a professional musician has. So help me out:
1. What’s the word?
2. What’s your story? Ever made it to a gig under the most adverse conditions? Played even when you felt like you were going to die?
3. Do you need to confess a missed gig? If so, post your gig sin here and I’ll see if I can get it absolved.
4. Do you have a word that adequately describes a musician who thinks nothing of skipping out of an obligation? (Let’s keep it relatively clean, folks; I have impressionable students who read this blog!)
Peace,
J
Ever take on too many projects? I have!
Tonight marks the completion of one of too many commitments I’ve made this semester: –eighteen waltzes played while another pianist is elbowing me in the left side and trying to play the same C4 octave notes I’m playing. Not only do we have to coordinate our moves, we’re supposed to be watching the choral conductor for tempi and releases.
I am one of 2 pianists playing the Brahms Liebeslieder Waltzes for the big choir on the Spring Choral Concert at my university. Can I continue to rant about this piece?
Now a pianist is used to sitting in the middle of the keyboard so that all that muscle memory can be called into play. With 1 piano-4 hands, I am seated about 2 feet to the right of center. It’s like trying to drive a car from the passenger seat. I guess this was one of those “fads” like the hula hoop and poodle skirts…
Anyway, that’s my excuse; I’ve been tied up in rehearsals. Sorry!
Now it’s your turn.
What fads have you encountered that happened on your respective instrument?
Leave a comment and share it with me…
The amazing Michael Kelsey from Lafayette, IN. More videos at www.michaelkelsey.com . (Thanks to Guitarflame.com for putting me in this mood!).





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